I was nervous when I entered the hospital but on the way there I felt a sense of calm, I wondered to myself how many other people were today in the same position as me, or some not so fortunate that were having to have a mastectomy because they have breast cancer. I looked at the drivers of the cars, watched as they passed me by, thinking to myself I wonder what you have to deal with today?
It was really strange knowing that I was getting driven to hospital by my partner to have my breasts removed.
Once we got there we signed myself in, ran through some paperwork with a lady who confirmed on more then one occassion what I was in for today. Yes I know why I am here and yes I agree, three or four times later the paperwork was complete and we were sent to the waiting room. Where not long after I was called up and taken to my room, what would be home for the next week or so.
I was given some special bodywash to wash the area to be operated on with, again... As I wash my breast with this bodywash I thought to myself who else is doing this today?
I then put on my gown and compression stockings and await the visit of my plastic surgeon and anaesthetist, one step closer after there visits were over. I thought I would be really nervous at this point but instead I was admiring my good view out my window and enjoying my time with my partner.
In came the orderly and disassembled my bed and before you know it I was being wheeled away, a few tears fell from my eyes as I waved goodbye to my love and he waved back with a grin.
However many hours later there I was, back in my room and greeted by the smiley face that saw me off. It was a lovely feeling knowing that it ran as smoothly as possible and that my body didn't let me down while I was under the general anaesthetic.
From there I don't remember much, well apart from eating icy poles, plenty of icy poles.
I had some visitors the first night and also a morphine injection in my tummy, which explains my lack of memory.
The next day Friday 26th was bright pink lipstick day, a day to support a cause for people just like me! My sister and Mum bought in some bright pink lipstick and we had our photo taken.
While in the hospital and I had my family visit, which got me through. I was learning how to deal with a whole range of new emotions and thoughts that I never knew existed and never knew that I would think of. I was very emotional a few of those days, I have never experienced anything like it, yes I felt a lot of heartbreak when my Mum was diagnosed but this was different emotion, not as gut wrenching and painful but different nonetheless.
My Mum stayed in hospital with me on the Saturday night and that was the best nights sleep I had. I have never experienced not being able to sleep so for me this was one of the hardest things. Mum and I watched a movie then dozed off, didn't get up to much for obvious reasons but knowing Mum was there with me made me feel so much better and very content.
Cam visited me at the hospital and helped with one the three room moves, which having to move rooms three times was strange but I enjoyed the walking. He went back to work on the Monday so had to head back to Launceston on the Sunday. Being away from him was another part that for me was really hard, I am not used to it and I needed his reassurance and comfort but we survived.
A selfie a day keeps them blues away :)
I received a lovely care package from my lifelong best friend, it was so thoughtfully put together and I was overwhelmed with all the goodies and effort that had been put into it. Then to top it off the most lovely sentiment in the front a book that she had also sent me. It bought tears to my eyes but not only mine, to my nurses and my Mums. I loved showing it off to everyone :)
I got to go home to my sisters house on the Tuesday where I stayed a little while to be near I case of something happening, as I am two and half hours away if it did.
Thats a story for another day :)